Facing off to Facebook

It started as a bet.

After months of being teased about my manic Facebooking habit, I boasted to my husband that I could survive without it for two weeks. There would be no computer or Iphone access with the prize, a cool $100 for the victor to spend, guilt free.

And I was off.

Now as a person who’s known for a huge variety of interests, I never believed that Facebook was ever too intrusive in my life.

After all, I am, I guiltily admit, one of those you’d describe as ‘time wealthy’ and in the main, I have large tracts of hours that I can spend doing exactly what I want.

I do run a small communication consultancy and have a handful of clients who sometimes demand my time.

But a typical week might find also me refereeing or playing soccer, getting in a game of golf, jogging, and attending my local gym. I’ve got a few cultural interests: I’m presently practicing for my Sixth Grade exams in piano, I love drawing and painting, I write for pleasure – especially poetry.

I’d like to think I have a rich social life, too. On weekends, I am a keen entertainer. I hold at least one major celebration a year with at least 60 guests. I love cooking and routinely try new recipes.

I donate my time to causes. I sit on a Foundation board. I visit an old lady in a nursing home from time to time I find time for my sister who I visit regularly

I love learning new things. I’m presently teaching myself French.

(I know I'm not 'usual' in my eclectic, some would say manic, habits. It's a genetic flaw I'm afraid - just ask my sisters.)

But while I draw breath, of course, I argue that Facebook is simply a part of a rich life in which people are important.

I justified my foray into social media three years ago when I realised that, as a professional communicator, it was a world I had to understand and be comfortable interacting within.

But one week into my Facebook free challenge, I'm gobsmacked at how much more constructively I am using my time.

I've started four new artworks – a record for me as I work in mixed media which is time consuming. At the rate I’m going, they’ll be finished by the time my bet is over.

I’ve been writing a novel and have left it neglected for months. So far I have added 5000 new words. Who knows how much will be written by the time this wager is over?

I’m finding ways to be creative with my spare moments. Excitingly, I’ve made time to read.

I’m also a lot more aware, already, of what my children are up to as I’m not allowing myself to spend free moments glued to my computer screen.

I’m not angsting about posting things that are interesting and that faintly dubious illness that is the need to document – well – everything!

More importantly, I am not allowing myself to be sucked into discussions about subjects I do not care about for what I see as validation for my Facebook friends, many of who I know only tangentially.

Often I find these discussions vexing. Someone will get their knickers in a knot about something I've said or someone else has said and, all of a sudden, my good humour has been tarnished and by someone I'm unlikely to meet face to face.

Of course, I wonder at how easily we imagine we form relationships via Facebook and how meaningful they really are.

I wonder if the time spent cultivating friendships with people who are unlikely to make a tangible difference to my life is innately fulfilling?

There are six billion people on this planet, and I am certain that were I to attempt it, on any given day I might uncover several who share at least one of my many interests and who I find likeable, engaging, intelligent and interesting.

But how many friends do I need?

And what can a collection of virtual stranger really ADD to my life?

Don't get me wrong. I love my Facebook friends. I love their honesty, openness, intelligence and humour. But perhaps I love them a little TOO much.

So at last, I've concluded that, I will be more rigorous about when and where I Facebook. It could be, for instance, my Sunday afternoon treat. I'm sure my 'friends' will understand.

As a result of this bet, I've realised that I can better invest those spare moments in my day.

I now know how quickly they add up.

The four paintings testify to that.